99 Word Stories of Fun
Meet your top five picks.
The challenge was to write a story using 99 words exactly, not including the title with the ending: “We would need to burn that couch.”
Based on the reader’s picks for those who meet the challenge with the ending “We would need to burn that couch,” meet your top five picks.
I also want to thank all the others who entered the challenge:
Christine Law, noodleBubble, Tanja Cilia, Sage AjaRa, the Flea Dane
Prepare for a little spicy reading on your Thursday afternoon.
No Luck by Kate McGovern
I put the kettle on, then the telly, and smoothed my lucky apron.
"Got it!" Robert exclaimed, bursting through the door. "This is the one!"
The ticket trembled as he walked toward his chair.
"Damn cat," he said as he plopped on the couch.
"NO- move the cat! Everything has to be just so!"
"We don't need luck, Woman. I feel it in the numbers."
The announcer began.
"Three."
"Three."
"Nineteen."
"Nineteen!"
"Twenty-two."
"Twenty- two!!"
"Forty-seven."
"FORTY-SEVEN."
"And the Bonus...is...six!"
Robert slumped over, ticket still clenched in his hand.
"Five."
We would need to burn that couch.
Smelly Bob, Same Pants by Joy DeSomber
Bob visited, and the majority of his weekend was spent on our couch. Remnants of our refrigerator and empty beer cans surrounded the floor. My husband told him several times there were fresh towels in the bathroom and that he could shower, but he declined. He had festered beneath blankets on our couch instead. We’d nicknamed him “Smelly Bob, same pants,” after a cartoon character my kids liked with a similar name. We nearly fainted when we walked by him. No amount of fabric spray would remove his stench after he left. We would need to burn that couch.
Macedonia by Rex Carey Arrasmith
We met in Tijuana, his Uncle Ken had a plan: Bobby could choose, Uncle Ken had veto power, no pedos, no smokers, and no drug addicts. It was his first time with a boy, and Bobby was nervous. We roll-play, I’ll play Alexander, you’ll be my Hephaestion. Shyly, I suggest a shower. Wet, our first time was bent over the tap. Dry, we try missionary on the rollout sofa. For a first timer, Bobby is an uninhibited, limber lover. His fantasies exceed my experience; we do things that leave me blushing. Morning, we would need to burn that couch.
An Ethereal Epiphany by Jackie Chou
Kevin Lim came to my apartment in Chinatown. His silver Honda glowed in the moonlight, its tires sporting star-shaped rims. The Architecture major, whom I met in my freshman dorm, had become a heartthrob in the Asian Greek system.
The next thing I knew, we were on the couch kissing. The taste of his saliva was sweet, so was the scent of his Calvin Klein cologne. All Kevin really cared about were his car and his Downtown suite, which made his rejection of me less personal. But to completely erase that night, we would need to burn that couch.
No, it wasn’t the Cow by Mark Ready
Legend says my Great-Great-Great Grandma O’Leary started the Chicago Fire when her cow kicked over a lantern. However, according to a letter written by my Great-Great Aunt Polly, her brother Sherman and his friend Willie spilled the stove black on the couch in the Parlor. Sherman begged her not to tell his mother and father and burned the couch and most of Chicago to the ground. Polly didn’t say anything while Shurman was alive, but as soon as he died, she had his idiotic idea carved as an epitaph on his tombstone. “We would need to burn that couch.”
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Those are all great. The last one is my favorite.